It can be the right decision AND still be painful and heartbreaking as hell!
We can sometimes push away the full range of emotions that we may feel when we go through big things by giving our experience a narrative of “it was the right decision”.
By giving an experience this narrative, it can result in us dismissing any other emotions that don’t feel like they fit with “it was the right decision” and not allowing ourselves to feel everything that truly comes up for us.
It can be the right decision AND still be painful and heartbreaking as hell! We can be both, life can be both.
For me I can relate this to quite a few situations in my life:
▫️Leaving home at 15 because I couldn’t live in an emotionally abusive home anymore
▫️Choosing to cut contact with the man I call my father who I loved dearly but knew it could never work out healthily
▫️Terminating my unplanned pregnancies as a teenager, one of which was forced on me as part of a domestic violence relationship that I was in at the time
▫️Leaving my previous marriage, despite loving him, but it wasn’t healthy for either of us
▫️And most recently having a termination for medical reasons TFMR of my desperately wanted baby because our baby was diagnosed with Edwards syndrome
Each and every one of these experiences “was the right decision” AND they were all heartbreaking in their own way.
Most of the time I told myself because it was the right decision I 'should' therefore crack on with life and be ok. I know better now and I am learning to hold gentle space for all of my feelings and I know now it’s safe to be both.
If you have had a termination for medical reasons TFMR then please go to @tfmrmamas on instagram and you will find a whole wealth of support group options and content to help you not feel alone.